Posts

Just another day

Sometimes I wonder if I even have emotions. Most of the time, I don’t feel anything, I don't if it is right to call it neutral or just blank. It’s not sadness exactly. Not anger. Not happiness either. Just silence inside. A strange emptiness that only shifts when I’m around the people I love. They’re the only ones who seem to awaken something in me, something real. I may have few close people but they are more than enough. Honestly, I prefer less number. Then there are moments like tonight. Moments where a wave of something comes crashing in. A feeling I can’t even name.  I don’t know what to call it and I can’t explain it to anyone. And maybe that’s the most frustrating part not even understanding myself. I keep asking myself: what’s the point of all this? The effort, the achievements, the endless chasing… when none of it follows you after this life? It’s exhausting. I just wish I could understand myself better. This blog has become my emotion diary now. A place I run to when my t...

Just thoughts

Sometimes I sit with these strange thoughts, the kind that don’t really have answers. I guess today is one of those times. What if nothing in this world is actually true? What if everything around us is just made up? People say things are real, but how can we really know? Humans are clever, sure, but we also lie, twist things, and rewrite history to fit what we want. Humans are so manipulative so who decides what’s real and what’s not? Maybe everything we believe is just someone else’s version of the truth. Maybe life isn’t about truth at all, maybe it’s just about experience. Feeling things. Going through moments, even if we don’t fully understand them. Sometimes I wonder if that’s all there really is. No deep meaning. No right version of events. People who can manipulate, keeps manipulating and those who are not so smart keeps getting manipulated. There are some who just trying to survive. They say energy never gets destroyed, only changes. Maybe it’s the same with people, we change,...